Thumbs

We have a practice in Dacha Theatre Company at the end of every rehearsal that we call “thumbs.” We form a circle and everyone sticks out a hand and puts up a thumb.  Someone begins by selecting another person in the circle and paying them a compliment.  It could be something they did in rehearsal, on a break, or it could be a compliment about who they are as a person.  The one selected puts their thumb down and then acknowledges someone else for something they did or something they are.  The process goes on until all the thumbs are down.  It’s a beautiful thing.

It can be hard to accept compliments, acknowledgements, praise of any kind.  We often feel that whatever we have done, we just barely managed it, or it happened by accident, or luck, or it was really nothing, or we inherited that trait from a parent and can’t claim any credit for it – or a thousand things.  At least that’s how I feel, most of the time.  But none of that is necessarily true.

It’s been said that we create the world by our speaking.  If I tell myself I am underserving, I am.  If you tell yourself you’re not worthy, you’re not.  Too often, that’s the conversation, the inner conversation and the public conversation that happens about ourselves.  Hearing an acknowledgement, and really letting it in, flips that conversation and opens us up. A shift happens.

It can be hard to give compliments.  We feel embarrassed, or we feel like it’s corny, or like the person will take it the wrong way, like you have an agenda or something.  So when the thought pops into mind, I’m more likely to keep it locked up than to let it out. Having a practice in place to allow for the giving and receiving of acknowledgments takes all of that away.  Everyone speaks, everyone listens.

Doing thumbs also has me on the lookout for what everyone else is doing.   I’ve got to have something to say at the end of the night about someone, so I better pay attention.  And I can’t focus on just one person, because someone else might compliment them first and their thumb will be down by the time it’s my turn.

Sometimes I surprise myself with the things I say and how kind they are.  Sometimes the other person is so overwhelmed with what I say.  Their eyes light up, their body expands and loosens, smiles, laughter, all good things.  Both the speaker and the listener transform in these moments.

It’s also been said that there is really only one thing to say to another person and that’s “I love you.”  Thumbs gives us a way to let that out.

The pictures attached are the front and back of gift I was given when I became a Dacha company member.  The other company members made it for me.  I’m a little embarrassed to post it.  It’s on my refrigerator.  It’s a beautiful thing.